A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to Hell in such a nice way that you actually look forward to the trip. -Caskie Stinnett

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here -Dante

An apology for the Devil: it must be remembered that we have only heard one side of the case. God has written all the books. -Samuel Butler

Another presidential election is coming up and I think you’ll all agree that the biggest problem is that someone will win. -Barry Crimmins

Diplomacy - the art of saying “Nice doggie” till you can find a rock. -Wynn Catlin

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. -Aliester Crowley

Eat my shorts! -Bart Simpson

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school. -Albert Einstein

Foolish mortals! You believe the sand in your hour glass is infinite -Matt Groening

"From the time I was born to the time of my death - it's my own damn side that I'm on" -Genjyou sanzou (saiyuki reload)

Go fuck the duck. -Walt Disney

He who is unable to live in a society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god. -Aristotle

Hell is full of good meanings and wishings. -George Herbert

I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires. -[Susan B. Anthony]

I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles. -[Woody Allen, Rolling Stone magazine, 1987]

I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free. -Charles Dickens

I say violence is necessary. It is as American as cherry pie. -H. Rap Brown

I start fires -Ralph Wiggum

If everybody obeyed the rule “if you don’t have anything smart/nice/interesting to say, don’t say anything at all” the world would be a very quiet place. -DIzzIE

If someone puts their hand on you send them to the cemetery. -Malcolm X

if this doesn't make you feel it doesn't mean you've died if this isn't making sense it doesn't make it lies -Chris Cornell, Soundgarden

If you consider me smart, then I pity the people who you consider dumb. -George Bernall Shaw

If you talk to God you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia. -Thomas Szasz

If you want to spank a stranger first learn how to play with yourself. -Quake 3 add

Imagination is more important than knowledge. -Albert Einstein

Live every day as if it were your last, because one of those days you’ll be right! -Alfred E. Nueman

Most people don’t act stupid - it’s the real thing! -Alfred E. Nueman

Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory than education without natural ability. -Cicero

Of all the things I lost, I miss my mind the most -Hackers, Emanuel Goldstein, Ozzy Osborne originally.

Oh my God! You killed Kenny, you bastards -Stan & Kyle

One should respect public opinion in so far as in necessary to avoid starvation and to keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny. -Bertrand Russell

Parents say there are no such things as monsters. They must be right, parents are right about everything. Then you look at my parents, then you start to cry. -Lisa Simpson

Parents should set reasonable guidelines for computer use, the computer should be in a room where parents can see it, such as the living room, and the children should not have their own separate sign-ons to get into the computer -Jan Caldwell (spokeswomen for FBI’s San Diego Office)

Practice random acts of violence and senseless acts of mayhem. -Bart Simpson

Prayer won't cure AIDS. Research will. -[Public service advertisement of the American Foundation for AIDS Research, dropped because of complaints by religionists, from Freethought Today, March 1997]

Probably get his dumb ass nailed to a cross... -[Response to WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) paraphernalia]

Science never cheered up anyone, the truth about the human situation is just to awful. -Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Society is no comfort, to one not sociable. -William Shakespeare

Such being preserve themselves best when they find a fitting place in another organism; if they fail to do this, they become grumpy, irritated, and devour themselves. -[On the topic of altruism]

That is not dead, which can eternal lie, yet with such strange aeons, even death may die -H.P. Lovecraft

The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness. -Joseph Conrad

The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. -Socrates

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education. -Albert Einstein

The truth which makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear. -[Herbert Agar (A Time for Greatness [1942])]

The wheel that squeaks the loudest gets the oil. -Timothy Leary

The world holds two classes of men -- intelligent men without religion, and religious men without intelligence. -[Abu'l-Ala-Al-Ma'arri (973-1057; Syrian poet)]

"There are three reasons why you can't beat me : one - your attacks are too light. two - there's nothing I can't cut. three - I'm more handsome then you." -Samurai deeper kyo

Thou has no right, but to do thy will, and no other shall say nay. -Aleister Crowley

To be loved is to be fortunate, but to be hated is to achieve distinction. -Minna Antrim

Toughness is about surviving whatever life throws at you and keeping on going on because you have no other choice. Toughness isn't about you and what you want, it's about not quitting because others need you. -Animal (NoNonesenseSelfDefense)

We don’t need no education -Pink Floyd

We live as we dream - alone. -Joseph Conrad

Well if I do go to hell, well then I hope I burn well -BloodHound Gang

We cannot tear out a single page of our life, but we can throw the whole book into the fire. -George Sand

When we are born, we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools. -William Shakespeare

When we lose the right to be different, we lose the privilege to be free. -Charles Evans Hughes

When you see a cross sticking in the ground, that usually means that someone is buried there, or someone got killed there. Perhaps, by wearing that cross around their neck, what they're saying is that they're dead from the neck up? That would explain a *lot* of things. -[Wayne Aiken]

Wherever they burn books they will also, in the end, burn human beings. -Heinrich Heine

Who made who? -[AC/DC]

"why does a pirate like you help the galactic police ?" "watching that fine ass of yours being killed is unbearable to me" -cobra

Words on paper don’t mean anything, words of flesh do. -DIzzIE

You spoonfed us saturday morning mouthfuls of maggots and lies disguised in your sugary breakfast cereals. The plates you made us clean were filled with your fears. These things have hardened our soft pink bellies. We are what you have made us. We have grown up watching your television. We are a symptom of your christian america, the biggest Satan of all. This is your world in which we grow. And we will grow to hate you. -Marilyn Manson

By unknowns :

2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

3, 4 better lock your door 5, 6 better get your crucifix.

A mystic is someone who wants to understand the universe, but is too lazy to study physics.

A society without religion is like a crazed psychopath without a loaded .45

Although it is said that faith can move mountains, experience has shown that dynamite works better.

And Jesus said unto them : "And whom do you say that I am?" They replied : "You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very selfhood revealed.” And Jesus replied : "What?"

Any man who considers himself a man must learn to be a alone in the midst of people and if needed be against all of them.

Archeologists near mount Sinai have discovered what is believed to be a missing page from the Bible and is believed to read 'To my darling Candy. All characters portrayed within this book are fictitous and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental'.

As I walk through the valley of death I shall fear no evil for I am the meanest mother fucker in the valley.

Being a loser gives you freedom. You can do, and are expected to do, anything and everything that a normal person wouldn't do. You can join the silliest groups of people, enjoy the most dangerous of activities, have the most bizarre hobbies; and you can get away with it because society wouldn't imagine it otherwise.

Believe me, I tied my own shoes once, it is an overrated experience.

Close your eyes, look deep into your soul, step outside yourself and let your mind go…

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

Do not be afraid...it won't help you.

Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.

Evolution is both fact and theory. Creationism is neither.

Freedom is the Distance Between Church and State.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.

Hello and goodbye. What else is there to say? Our language is much larger than it needs to be.

Help preserve your child's belief in Santa Claus. Tell him or her that Santa will send them to hell if they don't believe in him.

I am thinking of going on a diet. I know how you can lose twenty pounds of ugly fat right away. How? Have your head cut off.

I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

I have to go take a christian. I need to find some apostle to wipe my god with, first. I hope I don't get any jesus on my fingers.

I love Jesus, Yes I do. Baked or broiled or in a stew...

I think I'll believe in Gosh instead of God. If you don't believe in Gosh too, you'll be darned to heck.

I thought the truth would matter I thought the truth would win While I was busy thinkin' They let the liars in.

I wear a pink tutu to keep the evil potato king away.

If god doesn't like the way I live, Let him tell me, not you.

If Jesus loves me, why doesn't he ever send me flowers?

If opera is entertainment, then falling off a roof is Transportation.

If the Bible proves that God exists then comic books prove the existence of Superman.

If you pray for rain long enough, it eventually does fall. If you pray for floodwaters to abate, they eventually do. The same happens in the absence of prayers.

It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.

Jesus Christ: Imaginary Playmate to Millions of Adults!

Jesus Loves Me, Yes I Know / For the Voices Tell Me So.

Jesus loves you all, and can't wait to control you like a small household pet.

JWs: "If we were to tell you that there is an army of angels waiting in Heaven, and on the Day of Judgement they will be unleashed upon the world to slay all the unbelievers, what would your response be?" Response: "Pre-emptive nuclear strike."

Losing your faith is a lot like losing your virginity you don't realise how irritating it was 'til it's gone.

Nine out of ten priests who have tried Camels, prefer young boys.

Organized religion is responsible for the brainwashing of millions of young children too young to know the difference between reality and the fantasies of millions. Save Yourself. Drop Christianity.

Out of convicted rapists, 57% admitted to reading pornography. 95% admitted to reading the Bible.

Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.

Religion is a major weapon in the war against reality.

Surgeon General's Warning: Quitting Religion Now Greatly Increases the Chances of World Peace.

The only difference between God and Adolf Hitler is that God is more proficient at genocide.

The smart people in the ‘00s won’t be the ones who know everything. They’ll be the ones who know where to find what they need.

There are no saints, only unrecognized villains.

There are none more ignorant and useless, than they that seek answers on their knees, with their eyes closed.

Think of what paradise this world would be if men were kind and wise.

Two hands working do more than a thousand clasped in prayer.

Vique's Law: A man without a religion is like a fish without a bicycle.

Walking on water is easy. It is what we do for a living. You just have to know where the rocks are. Step from rock to rock, and those on the shore will think you are performing a miracle.

Want to know what happens after death ? Go look at some dead things.

When people are not busy, they believe that you are also not busy. Your subtle hints to the contrary will not be effective, sometimes it will be necessary to fake your own death.

When predators become the prey And tides of war have turned the day A writhing mass shall overtake And human blood shall be their lake.

White lies are actually dark truths.

Who was the wisest man in the Bible, supposedly wiser even, we can suppose, than the president of Harvard? He was king Solomon, of course. Two women claiming the same baby appeared before Solomon, asking him to apply his legendary wisdom to their case. He suggested cutting the baby in two.

Why do I have a conscience? All it does is fuck with me.